Observations after visiting churches 11-20

For churches 11–20, we intentionally diversified in order to experience many different forms of worship: megachurches, small churches, gay-focused, conservative-focused, and progressive-focused congregations.

• As for the welcoming committees, there were some notable incidents. Some churches seem highly skilled at identifying newcomers and approaching them during the greeting portion of the service. The greeter has almost always been an older woman with grandmotherly friendliness paired with inquisitive questions—almost as if she was chosen because it is harder to say “no” to her. Some churches even use laminated name tags for members, so if you are not wearing one, it is immediately clear that you are new.

• The term “Pastor Simon” was added to the Terminology page during this period. This truly is a scourge in Christian churches. In one church, the music leader—before the sermon even began—asked people to kneel during a song and a half. It was a crowded church with little space between chairs, and the floor was hard. In another church, the music leader told people to hold their hands out “like they are asking God for something.” The biggest offender asked people to follow instructions more than 20 times during the sermon: stand up, sit down, raise your hand, turn to a neighbor, underline a passage.

• The communion differences continue to be astonishing:
-- One church believed communion was open to anyone baptized as a Christian—even babies. There was a toddler drinking wine/grape juice from the common goblet. We have never seen that before.
-- One church gave a three-minute warning about how receiving communion in an unholy or unprepared mindset was nearly the greatest sin one could commit. They looked at us frequently because we were obviously new, but they were friendly once they saw we took communion after the warning.
-- At another church, people on the main floor received communion from a church leader, while those in the balcony had stations with wafers and a cup of wine/juice; they went to the station and served themselves.
-- At another church, the communion explanation felt rushed. The pastor said something like, “We’re going to have the Lord’s Supper today...I want you to taste Jesus!” The usual Last Supper Gospel reading was displayed on a slide above the altar.
-- It makes one wonder: If there is so much wild variation in something as central as Communion, what does that suggest about broader doctrinal unity and competence?

• The issue of gays in the church has been on our hearts often. We personally believe that gay individuals can be saved just as heterosexuals can, but we wanted to observe whether that so-called “liberal” attitude was reflected in the behavior of gay Christians. The gay church we attended was one of our favorites. The people were sincere, loving, cheerful, and joyful in their worship. Surprisingly, there was no mention of politics or emphasis on their unique circumstances. In contrast, we attended a suburban progressive church that advertised its gay-friendliness, and the sermon was filled with political themes and defensive language—even though gay attendees were likely a minority. In other words, the explicitly gay church seemed freer from political concerns and able to worship more fully in the Spirit, in our opinion.

• In a similar situation, we attended a church with a homeless focus, expecting the sermon to center heavily on social or political themes. Instead, the service emphasized worship through song and included communion—which was a pleasant surprise. Homelessness was not addressed until the closing sermon on Romans 5–6, which focused on Jesus giving believers a new identity free from sin. I believe many homeless individuals (though not all) struggle with addiction in their past or present and need reassurance that their sinful past does not define their future Christian life.

• I had high expectations for the Mennonite church. They have a reputation for humility and righteousness without some of the institutional failings of larger denominations. The people were wonderful—Spirit-filled and radiating friendliness. They felt somewhat like Christian Mormons, but without being Mormon. The only unusual aspect was their use of a thousand-page worship manual containing songs and prayers. The songs appeared to be distinctly Mennonite, and many prayers felt modified and politically correct. If you were raised in the church, I imagine it would feel ideal and deeply formative, shaping a mature Christian character. However, joining as an adult would represent a significant adjustment.

As far as which church we would join today if we stopped searching, Door of Hope and Door of Hope Northeast from our first grouping really set the bar high and remain our personal favorites. However, our diversification in churches 11–20 revealed that smaller churches often have a tighter sense of community, which is appealing. At the same time, smaller churches can be more vulnerable to off-kilter leadership influences, potentially creating a poorly focused spiritual culture. The ideal combination would be a smaller church with wise leadership committed to serving God faithfully, worshiping Jesus correctly, and not mishandling core practices like Communion.